Churches and Pastors, Behave. Christians, Be the Church.

Churches and Pastors, Behave. Christians, Be the Church.
We don’t have to agree on everything to trust that Christ is present in one another.

By Rev. Jane Herring

In the 2024 Barna study of Christians in the greater Nashville area, one of the primary traits that stood out among those who do attend church was their distrust—of other churches and other pastors. That finding didn’t surprise me. But it did grieve me.

When our daughter was young, she was occasionally invited to attend church with neighbors and friends. I always felt a quiet apprehension. Would she hear something that confused her understanding of God’s love? One Sunday, she came home from a friend’s church and told us that the Sunday School teacher said Jesus didn’t approve of women pastors. Since I am one, that sparked some questions.

It also sparked days of beautiful conversation.

We talked about the Samaritan woman at the well, the first person to whom Jesus revealed himself as Messiah—and the first he sent to proclaim the news. We talked about Mary Magdalene, the first to witness the resurrection, and about Phoebe, whom Paul commends as a deacon and benefactor. We talked about Lydia, whose home became the seedbed of the first church in Europe.

And yes, we talked about the more difficult parts of Scripture—the passages in Paul’s letters where women are told not to speak or teach. We talked about historical context, about goddess-worshipping cities and how culture shapes interpretation. We talked about how women’s voices have been silenced, but also how they’ve led. That conversation—sparked by a moment of dissonance—helped root our little family in love and trust and openness to talk about all kinds of hard things over the years. I now consider it truly a gift from God…by way of a church that would not honor my ordination. What a beautiful mystery.

Do I trust other churches more now? Other pastors? I’m learning to.

My brother belongs to a church that wouldn’t call a woman pastor. His pastor and I have had meaningful, respectful conversations. I’ve agreed and disagreed with both women and men, liberals and conservatives, pastors across traditions and denominations. Trust doesn’t require agreement. Trust requires something deeper: a strong enough belonging in God to stay curious. To believe the Spirit may be speaking, even when the voice sounds different than mine.

Trust means reading the Bible for myself and continuing to grow in Christ. It means recognizing that Jesus is praying for our unity—“that they may be one, as we are one” (John 17:22). That prayer stretches beyond the lines we draw around our theological camps. Not even the church that claims to be the “original” church can carry the mystery of God’s oneness alone. Not Roman Catholics, not Orthodox, not Protestants. The roots of our faith lie in the homes of frightened, faithful Jewish followers of Christ in the first century—and the reach of our faith is meant to include all people.

And let’s be honest: no church is immune to causing harm. Fundamentalist, progressive, conservative, liberal—each group has had moments of deep unkindness, moments of shining grace, moments of missing the mark. What matters is whether we let the gospel do its work: gathering the whole human family in love. The whole story of Scripture—from Genesis to Revelation—is God’s unrelenting desire to bring all people home. Not just the like-minded. Not just the “correct.” All.

To follow such a big God is to trust that we are loved—and that others are too.

Pastors, churches: behave. Tend your flocks with love, humility, and wisdom. You do not have to demean others to lift up your people.
Christians, be the church. Be the kind of people who can disagree with grace and cultivate the fruit of the Spirit.
Be the kind of people who raise daughters who come home with hard questions and stay at the table asking even more questions. This is only possible with love and belonging – the kind God gives, the kind we all need.
Be the kind of people who, like Christ, make room, inviting all to “taste and see” the Lord is good.
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